Tancredo: PINO’s Taliban Transition Checklist

By: Tom Tancredo:

President in Name Only Biden is desperately attempting to absolve himself of responsibility for the Kabul Debacle that is driving his poll numbers into the toilet. One desperation move: Painting the Taliban as “moderates” who want peace and brotherhood, acceptance by the international community — and have a strong desire to be our pals if we would just let them. All that nastiness of the past (you know, beheadings, amputations, rape, forcible marriage with 9-year-olds, suicide bombings) is in the past, and anyway, it was caused by Donald Trump and global warming. 

It’s not working well, though: People see through PINO’s dodges and dissembling and know that not only is he lying, he can’t even organize his thoughts. In other words, he’s going to have to up his game if he’s going to successfully pull the wool over the eyes of the American people over the colossal mess he made in South Asia. PINO’s gotta go big or go home. Or both.

I vote for both, so I hereby present the following checklist to help him change the “perception” of the Taliban from vicious, violent haters of anything Western to folks like us: happy-go-lucky people of the earth who love their wives and kids and goats (uh, maybe we shouldn’t mention the goats). Of course, he’s still going to have trouble winning over anyone who has an actual grip on reality, but here’s hoping it works on those whose connection to reality is more tenuous. Without further ado:

PINO’s Taliban Transition Checklist

• Create a reenactment of PINO’s swearing-in ceremony, this time using Thomas Jefferson’s copy of the Quran instead of a Bible. Cite former Congressman Keith Ellison’s “courageous” example when he was sworn in as the first Muslim elected to Congress. 
  
• Nominate The Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan for UN membership, with a guaranteed seat on the Human Rights Council.
  
• Announce that the billions of dollars in military equipment we left them is just a down payment for our jyza infidel tax. More to come.
  
• Dr. Jill Biden will wear a hijab whenever she leaves the White House — and inside the White House whenever there is a public function that includes men who are not immediate family members.
  
• Get rid of Major (PINO’s German Shepard) as dogs are unclean in the Muslim world. Besides, he bites.
  
• Regular photo ops of PINO and his Cabinet getting ready for meetings by doing wudu, the ritual washing of hands, feet, arms, and legs. 

• Have ad agencies make commercials to introduce the Taliban to Americans by showing the former as “regular Joes” who just happen to wear turbans and have several wives and multiple children. They’ll do stuff like play Monopoly, eat nachos — and have their Jewish neighbors over to watch football games and eat bacon crisps.
  
• Declare by executive order that the official state name of Minnesota will now be the Islamic Emirate of Minnesota.
  
• Order Kamala to transition into Kamal so that the Taliban will be able to meet with him and shake hands.
  
• Ban Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib from entering the White House unless they do the same.
  
• Ban Nancy Pelosi from entering the White House unless she also… wait, never mind.
  
• Send midterm mail-in ballots to anyone in the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan who requests them, living or dead. Afghans slaughtered by the Taliban after we abandoned them get to vote twice.
  
• Pledge never to alert the citizens of the USA if we locate and lock a Predator on a suicide bomber on his way to kill them, so we don’t upset our new masters (PINO and his generals did it to our own troops at the Kabul airport, so this one is easy). 

This checklist is, of course, over the top and highly unlikely (oops, never mind; that’s what PINO called the prospect of a rapid Taliban victory). But as offensive as the suggested initiatives are, the reality of his original timetable is even worse if you think about it:

PINO changed President Trump’s withdrawal date of May 1 (before the fighting season opened) to September 11 (fighting season in full swing) so he could use the 20th anniversary of the attacks as a stage prop to take credit for ending the war in Afghanistan. In so doing, he created the conditions that made possible the Taliban blitzkrieg that, in the end, killed more American soldiers than any single action of the past several years, did perhaps the worst damage to our international reputation in the history of the Republic, and drove even his most obedient media lapdogs to question his senility and even his sanity.

PINO’s Kabul Debacle also enraged millions of Americans, chief among them the loved ones of those soldiers who died because of his immoral ineptitude. Among those is Kathy McCollum, mother of slain Marine Rylee McCollum, who was killed August 26 by that suicide bomber PINO refused to stop because he was more concerned about Taliban feelings than American. She spoke for her son and perhaps for our country, too, when she offered this thought on a recent radio show:

“That feckless, dementia-ridden piece of crap just sent my son to die.” 

That pretty much says it all.

Quick Poll:

More from America’s Citizen Press

More you might like